As for the combing vs brushing it has to do with the cuticle of the hair and the configuration of the separation device. Hair has a nap to it, ie: it goes in one direction, down, and can peel and split if brushed against the nap, ie: up. Hairbrushes blend hair by having tines which make the hair move through in a serpentine fashion as you brush. This has the effect of separating individual hairs, which makes them stand out, but also makes them vulnerable. When wet, hairs are trying to stick together and brushing can tear them.
Combs separate hairs in groups, which makes them less likely to break with conditioner or water in them to bind them to each other and there is effectively safety in numbers that way. The best comb for this has thick teeth, widely spaced, with rounded tips. Sharp tips can scratch the scalp, damage roots and cut hairs. I only recommend fine tooth combs for precision, like when cutting, and for certain styling purposes (gel'ing down comes to mind, and combing over teasing, but your hair needs teasing like a fish needs a bicycle :)
Suffice it to say that if you want your hair to a) behave and b) get into better condition over time, comb it through with the widest comb you can find (often called a "shower comb") every time you have conditioner in it and ONLY when you have conditioner in it, braid it wet and just leave it alone while it grows and heals. Then, for occasions or to impress people, let it out, brush it, gel it, mousse it, BUT DON'T ever comb it with gel or mousse in it, it'll break the hairs. If you must, use your fingers to pull knots out gently taking care not to break hairs. Remember every time you feel or hear a hair break, that's one less hair that will look great until it grows out and gets trimmed. And how often does someone actually take scissors to your hair?
I trim mine every three to five months, as much as three inches, but mostly just to the point where the braid tapers alot (That's where its got the most split ends and will do the most good.) Eventually the fuzz, the short split ends which have curled up to the top, will grow out. I trim it myself by parting it carefully up the middle all the way back and bringing the two sides around to the front. I use a fine tooth comb then (wet, right after a shower) to smooth it down and cut it straight with VERY sharp scissors. (I have professional scissors from Japan because my hair is kind of a priority for me.) The "around front" along with the "straight" cut causes the back to be a little longer than the front. I like the effect. Although I've been thinking about layering one of these days.
I also periodically think about lobbing it all off. Especially in the summer when I swim and play tennis, bike and run. Its bad for my hair and hot and annoying too. Not to mention how long it takes to wash, condition, comb, and let dry. My head basically spends the next five months wet.
Perhaps I should write a book on hair care... Perhaps I should just put a copy of this up on my web site.
Peace,
- Janet :)